shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize