So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
