just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
