it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
