I love black thongs
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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