i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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