You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
