I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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