i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
