I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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