i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
