JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
