He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
