that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just gargled with NyQuil
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
