Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
