drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
