I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
