We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize