so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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