I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
