Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
