sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
