just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
ttyl tear gas
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
