I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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