We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
