my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
