wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
