***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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