Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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