yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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