I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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