I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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