One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize