his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
