just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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