i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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