Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
