Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My vagina is officially offended.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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