How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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