you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
