whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
