He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
