i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
