I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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