Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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