i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
