what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize