I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
