I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
