i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
