piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
