i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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