No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
