BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize