3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
