I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
